The Cure's Disintegration was going to win from the outset. It just was. I still did my homework and really enjoyed Young Team by Mogwai. In fact, I'll probably give it numerous spins from here on out. But I can't fight the fact that Disintegration was a very formative record for me...especially in those most cliche moments of my first month at college when I sat in my dorm room friendlessly pining after a girl back home...a girl who would never be mine.
A few years ago, I went to see the Cure in Pontiac. I had lawn seats...tickets bought for me by a girl I thought was about to be mine. I left Bruce and Sarah's wedding reception early to go. As sky grew blacker and the band wailed...off in the distance, too small to really see...while the girl I came with danced with another boy, I thought to myself, "I am really here all alone." All I wanted at that point was to hear Plainsong live...just once in my life. Summer hung in the dark air, but it was still cold, like the cold if you were dead. And then I saw her there, smiling at me just for a second. I sat on the ground. Head hung between my knees. I released any hope I had for this love. Suddenly, the opening bells of Plainsong rang. I almost didn't even realize it was happening, but there I was, about to live that moment alone. Somehow it was perfect. Then, the girl I came with ran over to me and threw her arms around me. But it was hollow. It was false. It was, somehow, perfect. To experience the Cure in that setting, to hear that song while being embraced by the one who was simultaneously shattering my heart into bits and at just the right age to appreciate the mellow-drama of it all makes me very protective of the Disintegration record.
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This made me feel a little like I'm living at the edge of the world (edge of the world). I figured you'd go with Disintegration since it was your #1 pick and Mogwai wasn't even on your list. So here's a question: how much do you love this record because of what it meant to you at the time, and how much do you love this record because it still sounds great to you?
ReplyDeletehere's the deal: I listen to disintegration quite often. Plainsong and Untitled are always favorites, but the rest of the album keeps evolving to me. For instance, the tune Disintegration was on constant repeat when i first moved back to Chicago. Now, I listen to Closedown like I've never heard it before. So, it still sounds amazing to me for sure.
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